"Unoriginal Circumspace" Theory

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The "Unoriginal Circumspace" Theory is a theory within certain scientific circles that postulates that all of circumspace is merely a computer simulation, and that computer simulation reuses people's faces and appearances. The logic behind it is that simulating a universe would be hard on a computer, and so the computer saves processing power on faces by reusing them, such that it may use CPU ticks on more important things like simulating the actual universe.


This theory was first suggested by circumspace telescope operator Althanar Vaulkas, who was eavesdropping on another universe where humanity suffered an Earth-wide nuclear war that destroyed advanced civilization. He overheard an opinion by Confederate Syndicates leader Casey Pickett, who is quoted as saying:

Is this...some sort of bootleg combination of Kaiser Wilhelm the 2nd and Bismarck? Yesh, and I thought I was being unoriginal sharing the same surname as a civil war general. I already got tired of that Tsar the Nicholas look-a-like who had Napoleon the III's policies. Seriously, there must be some kind of monarch merging contraption out there. (Pickett)

Vaulkas had a sudden burst of inspiration, as he looked through textbooks of Earth history to find such examples of "circumspatial unoriginality". And he found them. He found Tsar Nicholas II, who is Ciar Nicólei III's lookalike. He found Admiral Chester Nimitz, who is Admiral Cólskeiów's lookalike. He found Alfredo Schuster, who is Pope Julius VII's lookalike. And he found many more.

Vaulkas collaborated with Rina Ulvrachas, one of his colleagues, to develop the "Unoriginal Circumspace" Theory, and they published it in the official Ciapadtyla Science Institute journal Discovery Daily. It was, at first, faced with widespread ridicule, as it eventually faded into obscurity. Since then, it has still been a subject of ridicule, albeit more obscure.

Since publishing it, Vaulkas and Ulvrachas have both been discredited in the field of science. The Ciapadtyla Science Institude has not stripped them of any awards, however, as the Institute opined in a public statement, "the humiliation is punishment enough".

Alternative Theories

The Narrative Proposal

An alternative version of this theory proposes that all of circumspace is not a computer simulation, but rather a set of worlds and narratives invented by humans. This theory seems to make no sense, as all of the people in circumspace have their own free wills and actions, and aren't controlled by external authors.

The Divine "Coincidence" Proposal

Similar to the Narrative proposal, the Divine "Coincidence" proposal postulates that whatever gods or divinities there are out there sprinkle in little coincidences into the universes that they influence, making two people from two separate planets, two separate countries, and two separate eras look similar to each other and have a similar life, a similar career, and a similar ideology. It suggests that these gods do so with the same intent as movie producers putting "easter eggs" into the films that they make.

The Genetic Descendant Counter-Proposal

A counter-theory suggests that there is no reuse of faces, but rather, mere genetic similarities cause related people to have similar faces. This would imply that Ciar Nicólei III is related to Tsar Nicholas II, that Chancellor Marc Adlerić Basileiów is related to Vasily Maklakov, that Governor Marc Caton is related to Charles Maurras, and so on. This is unlikely, especially given how similar their lives and ideologies are, but still possible.

Part of a series on Mechyrdia